I wait
On edge
For what’s to come
I try not to let him get to me
But as hard as I try
He knows my weak spot
It’s our son
And so he tugs
I try not to bend
I want to lash out at him
But I can’t, and I won’t
Except it still gets to me
The anger keeps me up most the night
I must do better
Try harder
I changed the locks today
Because he has no concept of boundaries
And I needed to take back some control
I tell myself it will help steady me
For his inevitable blows
He no longer has the same level of access
To the coming and goings of my life
Access, denied
He may like playing games
He thinks it’s funny
Me, as his pawn
But I just want it to end
Start living my life the way I want
To begin